By Katie
As an introvert, I have always been quiet and shy. I don’t enjoy large crowds, and spending time with others leaves me drained. Small talk does not come easy to me, nor does talking to people in general. I have a small group of friends, but I’m okay with that. Overall, I was a fairly balanced kid in elementary and high school. Then came my first year to college.
The anxiety I have dealt with in the past was nothing compared to the anxiety I had felt during my first year in college. Throughout my experience in college, I had felt very overwhelmed and anxious about the expectations set on me plus the underlying burnout I was facing. There had been assignments and grades to keep up, placement to attend and learn from, and midterms and finals to worry about. Thankfully, I hadn’t been the only one feeling the pressure and burnout from the college experience. Nearly all my classmates were feeling similar in the stresses of placement and homework.
It had been the last few months of my first year where the straw broke the camel’s back. Things at school had gone from bad to worse. A possible strike was looming over everyone’s heads. There was a lot of uncertainty as my teachers were adamant about being prepared for a strike that was to go on for several weeks. When the final decision to not strike was made, it left me and my classmates emotionally drained. At the same time as the strike, my teachers decided to extend my placement hours while simultaneously studying for my finals. To say the least, the whole ordeal was causing me to crash and burnout fast. I was a mess; crying and breaking down to a point where I didn’t want to leave the house. With a great deal of resilience, and a lot of help and support from my parents, I was able to finish my first year of college.
During the summer break, I was asked to fill an apprenticeship with No One Stands Alone. The apprenticeship required that I do a lot of phone calls and face to face meetings with people I didn’t know. I quickly realized that I have a phobia of talking on the phone. I also realized with meeting people I didn’t know, my shyness got in the way.
While facing these challenges with my apprenticeship, I realized I needed help. My mom had managed to find a free, therapy-guided program called AbilitiCBT. The program is a government-funded, mental health support for Ontario residents. It is based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy where the client develops resiliency and coping skills to manage their mental health concerns. With AbilitiCBT, clients can work at their own pace, only needing to check in with their assigned therapist when needed or when the therapist reaches out.
My therapist has diagnosed with moderate social anxiety. Since then, the program has been helping me to analyze the situation, emotions, and thought process that triggers my anxiety.
Social anxiety is a type of anxiety. Someone with social anxiety will often have symptoms of unease when they are in situations where they might be judged or observed. Examples of this could be talking on the phone, being in large social gatherings, public speaking, making eye contact, or even dating.
I have found that having support from loved ones is crucial. Thankfully, I have my parents for such things. My father has more experience and comfortability with the phone, so he guided me through talking to people and businesses asking for donations. Meeting face to face with people wasn’t as nerve wracking, but I had my mom’s encouragement as I made several trips to various businesses.
I have found that it is important to remind myself that I am not alone in dealing with social anxiety. There is a chance that I will always have social anxiety, but I know that I will find ways to manage it.
“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all”
— Mulan –