Written by Dawn Stilwell

G. Connors spent his entire career in Emergency Medical Services, working as a paramedic. As you can imagine, this kind of work has its share of traumatic experiences for the first responders who attend suicides, horrific accidents and more. Over time, G’s mental health began to suffer and he was eventually diagnosed with PTSD, which was attributable to his experiences on the job.

During his tenure in EMS, G and others would ask for debriefings where first responders could open up and share about what they experienced during traumatic calls they attended. Various agencies and services had organized and conducted their own debriefings, however, there were other services which were left without any formal follow-up; nothing of the sort was organized. These were exasperating times, as help was needed and requested, but management would sometimes look the other way. Due to the stigma surrounding the issue of mental health, some first responders have a hard time asking for help, especially when the help they needed was not guaranteed.  Because of the lack of consistent mental health resources, some EMS staff would simply leave their jobs while others turned to alcohol to numb the pain of their experiences.

At one point, while in a downward spiral in his mental health, G came precariously close to taking his own life to escape the torment of his mind. Thankfully, before it was too late, he looked around the room at the photos of his family. He then decided that, despite his suffering, he still had much to live for and suicide was not the answer. Not suicide. Not today.

Eventually, G was unable to continue to work due to his PTSD, and he struggled for some months to get a diagnosis/prognosis that would support his WSIB claim. Although he eventually was able to get an assessment at CAMH in Toronto, the experience caused him setbacks as during the course of the assessment, he was forced to recount many of the traumatic calls he had attended over the years.  Today, G is retired and regularly sees a therapist to stay on top of his mental health. He is a staunch advocate for mental health and knows firsthand the need for more readily available resources for ANYONE whose mental health is at risk. He tells his story in his newly released book, Out of the Storm: A Story of PTSD in the Life of a Paramedic.

From Debb and staff at No One Stands Alone, thank you for sharing your story, G.